Bell Towers and Fish Markets

"But it would be nice," said the waiter, "if the lady felt hungry in the night, for her to be able to put out her hand and find a piece of cold palatschinken by her bed."

I woke up early. The flight gave me a little headache, but it probably came from not sleeping. Like, you lose track. I was probably awake for over twenty-four hours without really being aware of it. I mean, you just go from shuttle to plane to moving sidewalk, and there's no sense of time.

Even after sleep, though, the headache was still there, but... I don't have time for that. Hit it with some oranges and almonds and went out into the freezing rain. There's a famous coin laundry here, apparently a rarity in Croatia, and I needed to get the pee out of my clothes, so I shoved them in a tote.

Howling winds and seaside terror. but when will I be in Split again?

Despite the conditions, I knelt in doorways and took pics. It was a wet walk to the palace, but you have to live your life!

A few people were slipping around on the slick marble. An old woman sold cheese under an umbrella. She gave me the most grandmotherly look. Come and try my cheese, you are like my own son. I am your mother. Buy from me, my child. Be good to your mother.

I climbed the bell tower of the Cathedral of St. Dominus. It was... pretty terrifying. The stairs are chunks of marble, and they're really high, so you have to make giant climbing motions, but, the ceiling is very low, so there's a lot of stooping and head smacking and cursing and slipping.

The higher I got, the more dangerous it got, especially because of the bag of laundry. The wind was filling it and pulling me in crazy directions. I wasn't in danger of falling off the tower, but there was serious concern I would get blown down the fucking stairs.

I was also afraid of losing my hat. Got some crazy, shaky pictures of the cityscape, tagged the top and headed down. I took thirty seconds to pretend I was a guard watching out for approaching ships. The view of the sea was gorgeous.

At the bottom again, I saw a couple buying tickets to go up. I don't know how two people can climb that thing at once or how they handle it during the season, because that place is a death trap. A beautiful death trap.

Got some pics of a cracked old sphinx. Diocletian collected them. Despite all the murdering, he seems like an interesting guy with cool taste. Found the laundromat. I was gonna sit there and read, but the lady was like, "I will do your laundry, you have to live your life!"  So, I dropped it off and high-tailed it out of there before she could smell it.

Took a windy walk by the sea. The surf was crashing on the rocks, the lighthouse was clinging to the hills for dear life. A stray dog seemed to be loving it all. I saw a seagull with what looked like a shoe insert in his mouth. The gulls were having a carnival over the waves.

I got some coffee at a place with old men drinking thimble-sized lattes. They got quiet when I walked in. In the distance, a clock chimed the hour. The music in the coffee place was Zamfir, master of the pan flute playing the greatest hits of Bryan Adams.

Head was still hurting, so I bought some aspirin from a place with a big green cross outside. The lady was like, "Thees aspirin does not have the vitameens!" and I was like, "That's a shame!"

On the way home, I saw a proud old potato farmer in a yellow raincoat. I had cut through the Green Market, and everyone else had tables full of bright oranges and plump dates, but he had a sad bag of potatoes. He glared at me as if to say, "I made these myself. I formed them in the earth!"

I wanted to help him out, but what would I do with a raw potato? Bake it in my suitcase?

Got home, head killing me. All stuffed up. Fever. Fuck. Hit it with another orange. Lay down a little bit. A man with a push broom mustache came up to the window and looked in. Get your kicks somewhere else!

Couldn't sleep, so I uploaded and edited the pictures. Had some tea and oranges that came all the way from China, and went back out to get the laundry. I only brought one lens, because I figured it would be a quick shot.

There's a famous statue I had missed, and I wanted to get it.

In my search for it, I got... so.... lost. I didn't know you could get lost here. There's the sea, there's a giant bell tower, there are all these things to orient you. I had a map!

And yet!

What happened was, the statue, one of the most famous landmarks in Split is being restored. It's in an enormous box. A shame, since you're supposed to rub its toe and get rich. I kept pushing forward hoping to find the statue, but it wasn't anywhere to be found. Then I saw a cat and followed it, and it led me wildly astray.

Stupid statue! Wicked cat! I was in the suburbs somewhere. How? None of the streets were on the map. It was like I'd gone through a portal into another realm. I mean, it was beautiful. The people who live here live in a nice place. Hills and courtyards and scenic highways. Old women sweeping with branch brooms.

But every time I thought I was heading to the sea, I just got further and further away. It was like a fairy tale curse. Was I still home in a fever dream? Was it real?

Finally asked a postman, and he sent me all over the damn place. But he was right. I checked with a baker, and then with some beautiful children. Found my way to the laundry.

My clothes smelled beautiful. Like Croatian flowers!

I saw a pregnant cat sniffing wet macaroni and my heart broke. My nose ran and tears were in my eyes. I stopped into a bakery to get some napkins and realized I was hungry.

In the case, a roll had some kind of dark paste leaking out of it, and I couldn't tell if it was meat or chocolate. There was no label, and it was next to an obvious ham sandwich but also a powdered doughnut. This place didn't have sections.

I pointed at it and the baker said, "Take?" And I said, "Is it sweet?" And she said, "What? I not..." She shrugged. "Um.... what's in it?" "Take?" Her gloved hand hovered over it. I didn't want dessert, I wanted lunch, but I couldn't figure out how to mime "sweet" or "savory" and if she would get it.

I was afraid if I said, "Chocolate?" and it was chocolate, she would grab it and put it in the bag. I decided to do without, but by some miracle, she said, "Is salty! Salty roll." How had she sensed what my issue was? Bless her. I smiled and nodded, and the glove struck!

I thought I would share it with the cat, but she was gone.

She missed out, that was some killer meat paste.

Stumbled into a fish market. My god. It was the most beautiful place. The colorful bounty of the sea. They had everything. Krakens, gulper eels, giant octopuses. It was stunning. The vendors held the fish up in people's faces to show how fresh they were.

It was nothing like Seattle, where the fish is pleasantly displayed on ice. There were hag fish and crabs and shrimp twitching their fragile legs. I was moved by the whole experience. It all seemed so.. ancient. Like, this is an old city, but the ruins just seem like architecture to me or museum stuff. Sterile.

This experience was probably what it was like two thousand years ago. Fishermen pulling fish out of the water in the morning and selling it on shore in the afternoon. I'm not articulating it very well. I have a serious brain fever. It was emotional. My face betrayed it all.

Got back home. Hot breath from my nostrils was burning my lips. Sick as all hell. Hit it with another orange and some of the vitaminless aspirin. Lay down with my face in the fresh fresh clothes. There was a bus to Sibenik in an hour. Would I make it? Why would I do that?

Closed my eyes. It was raining again. I listened to it come down.

I got up and put my hat back on. The bus was leaving in thirty minutes. I put an orange in one pocket and some napkins in the other. You have to live your life.